Submissive exhibitionist: Public face, private desires.

Recently I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, and establishing a friendship with Janice. A married woman, who describes her marriage as “vanilla”. Raised in an Irish Catholic, military family, Janice had a structured “moral” upbringing. She’s also a very intelligent and capable woman, having been on her own (until marriage of course) since the age of eighteen. She has a Masters degree. Upon seeing her in an everyday, public setting she has the appearance of a conservative, parochial individual.

Its clear from the onset of our conversation that she’s into kink

In fact she was in a D/s relationship as a submissive to a Dominant couple in her twenties (at the time of this writing she is thrity-six).

Over the course of the near month that I’ve come to know Janice I’ve learned a few things about her.

• She’s tried more than a few times to share her kinks with her husband, without success. Sex with her husband has become routine: “Missionary. once a week. Me giving oral first. Him reciprocating on me and then he fucks me.”
• She has a strong sensitivity to visual stimulation. This includes but is not limited to: bondage, fetish-wear, nudity (she seems to be more affected by female nudity), sex acts. She keeps a personal library of images she finds erotic.
• Highly sexual, with a strong desire to serve. She also strongly believes in patriarchy.

In her conversations with me I get the feeling that little by little she becomes more liberated, less ashamed of sharing her desires.

Janice: “I’m jealous of naughty girls.”

Sir Chance: “Do explain.”

There is a pause that lasts a few moments.

Sir Chance: “Let it out Janice.”

Janice: “I want to do every thing. explore everything. Be an object for a man or group of men.”

Curious I wanted to know what was the spark that awoke these desires in her.

Janice: “ I think when I realized that men looked at me differently. When I was of an age when I saw them looking at me for longer than usual, wondering what they were thinking.

Sir Chance: :What did you conclude Janice?”

Janice: “That the natural order of things is that women are things to be conquered by men. that we are built physically and emotionally to serve them and men who treat women as equals and cater to them etc are weak. not fulfilling their true nature.”

This is something that Janice clearly felt strongly about, and she had shared it with me. Over time she would share more things with me, and in that time she became more comfortable expressing herself. A few days ago, she expressed a desire to explore:

Janice: “I have this thing that I’ve been fantasizing about lately but am afraid to explore. Giving over control. Sharing my pictures with someone here. having him exposing me. On a site or something. showing me I have no control over it. Him taking maybe a nude or two of me and putting it next to my wedding picture and showing me what he will share with the world. It’s a strange quirk i know.

I told her that this wasn’t a strange quark, as I’ve come across women who have that same desire, to be shown off, some even disgraced. It appeals to her due to the lack of control on her part, the desire to submit, to give up control. At this point, I mention to her that I have done exactly what she has described. As proof I gave her the link to my previous pots on the subject of submissive exhibitionist.

To which she is highly interested:

Janice: “Is that your site really?…. I see a woman.” (referring to my second interview entry).

Sir Chance: “Yes it is.”

There’s a pause –

Janice: “And if i send you my pictures? ………”

As she pauses and types, I mention to her that those I’ve posted in previous entries have given there permission. Obviously as you’re reading this now, Janice has given her permission.

Janice: “You, knowing that I am married. Have a conservative life….. Would you post our chat?

I have, again with permission.

Janice: “And only take me down if and when YOU choose? no matter what i say?”

Sir Chance: “Oh they’ll never go down, should you agree they go up.”

Janice: “Oh my god. Truly? And Never come down. How many perverts would see me. My wedding picture. My nude. Etc.”

Sir Chance: Its not heavily trafficked, usually ten to fifteen people a day.”

Janice: “It is the perfect act of submission. Please tell me to put myself up. Please. Knowing I have had some wine. That I am married…. my face. My wedding. My bare body. Own me tonight. Please. Tell me to get my private disk.”

And so she did, with equal parts nervousness, and excitement.

Sir Chance: “Its something you always wanted to do. You’re doing it, and you would not have done so if you didn’t feel “at home” with me.

Janice: “I agree. I’ve done this with no one else. it makes me weak seeing that one next to one so normal as the one i just sent to you.”

Sir Chance: “You share with me, and I’ll share with anyone who cares to read it, even if they just click on the post to see your pics.”

Janice: “Oh god yes. Each personal detail i have shared with you, for whomever just happens to come by. My smile on my wedding day… my gown. then what it is hiding.”

Another pause

Janice: “Is there anything i can do to stop You from this?”

Sir Chance: “No Janice, you don’t want me to.”

Janice: “You will actually spend time working on it. real time. making it a special revelation.”

Sir Chance: “Yes. The difficult thing in setting up the photos is that you really don’t have many extreme ones.”

Janice: “I know. only a few. I’m pretty conservative. That can change. I give You full consent to do with what i have shared with You whatever You want to do. My name is Janice H.”

More time passes as we exchange erotic photos with one another.

Janice: “If and when you put me up? Will You please refuse to take me down? I know what my body and mind were made for. it’s simple. For being on my back with my legs spread.”

Sir Chance: “You’ve given me your gift and your consent. Its at my discretion from this point onward.”

Janice: “I have. my expressed consent.”

What you have read and seen here dear readers, is special. Each image you see in this posting is the product of juxtaposition.

Public face, private desires. Proof that there’s more to each of us than quick glance can tell.