In BDSM, as in life; there are somethings that cannot be fully enjoyed alone. 

Tonight for the first time in six years I had no Halloween party to go to. I did not want to spend the night home. 
I decided to attend the fetish ball at Paddles. I dressed as a Death-Eater from the Harry Potter series, I had dress as this before back in 2007, but I like the outfit I created. I felt powerful. I even have a replica of the walking stick used by Luscious Malfoy in the 2nd movie. A power item in my mind as well as a conversation starter (that was my hope). 

As I enter the club I’m immediately remind of it’s small area space. I made my way to the snack bar after checking in my coat.  I wanted a root beer float; no dice. The had served then the last two times I visited. Not this time. I had a Pepsi on ice instead. 
I nursed it, using the time to study the surroundings. Groups, packs, couples, many couples with large duffle bags of gear maneuvering through the narrow entryway.  Groups were having scenes anywhere they could, it was impossible to avoid. Those not currently in a scene watched others as each of the stations were occupied. To see a woman writhing in both agony and pleasure is a nice thing to watch, for a few minutes. Then (for me) it became indecent, as I felt I (and others) were lingering to the point of intrusion. Yet it could not be helped due to such close quarters.    

All I could do was observe. 

I watched as a young woman was being spanked barehanded by an older man dressed as a priest over his knees. It brought the attention of many due to the loud echos of his strikes.  

I watched as another young woman, tall with raven hair was secured to a cross. Her backside fully exposed as an older man dressed in teal surgical scrubs swatted her ass. She would be writhing twisting her body, lifting and then bending her left leg as her cries turned to moans as her spanking gave way to probing. When the scene ended, after she was dressed I could see her face flush rose as she say that at least half a dozen people; myself included watched her. 

I watched as an elderly male submissive was flayed by a much younger Mistress. She put all her energy into each downward strike. This  continued for some time until he uttered an indistinct safe-word. Soon after he was embraced for his service. 

I observed these scenes for close to two hours. Without speaking, in crowds with others but alone with my thoughts. Bringing the walking stick was a good decision, it gave me support. As midnight drew near, as more people arrived, as announcements were made that the staff would open up more play areas (ones I have not seen), I decided to leave to return to Penn Station. Without a partner I had no place there, no reason to remain. 
I write this entry on an east bound LIRR train, couples and groups nearby. 

Paddles, and BDSM clubs in general, (for me) cannot be fully enjoyed alone. Eventually, one tires of watching others play.  It’s a lesson I’m reminded of again. This time it has to take hold. 

The lesson: One cannot possibly experience life fully without someone by their side. A life in solitude is a life half-lived. 

To those that are single:
Make every effort possible (within your means) to find someone. Life is best when it is shared. 

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Comments

  1. Pam

    aaahhhh my Dear Sir Chance….even those who have someone often feel alone. And sometimes it is better to be alone than with someone. You just have to decide which agony is better.

  2. ann

    I dabbled with BDSM a bit when I was younger, mostly in the form of spankings. But in the last two years I’ve met 2 men who have helped me realize the depth of my desire and love of submission.
    Sadly one relationship is long distance and currently offers more frustration than pleasure.
    The other recently ended as it became quite apparent that I wished for a deepening romance but my Dom felt differently.
    Right now I feel discouraged as I know this is my sexual path. Not having a partner is maddening and upsetting.

  3. Post
    Author
    Sir Chance: Web Master

    I can certainly share that feeling. That inspired this posting, as well as a few past postings.
    The important thing is that each of us continues to search. It will take time, it will take effort.
    All things that are worthwhile do.

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